firefly_amulet (firefly_amulet) wrote,
firefly_amulet
firefly_amulet

[oneshot]MY HEART'S A CHILD

100 Bed-Time Fics.5th Fragment



TITLE:My Heart's A Child
PAIRING:Eunhae(MAIN)
GENRE: fluff, abstract
RATING:PG 13
DISCLAIMER:I own nothing.kind of...
SUMMERY:Everyone thinks he needs to grow up.Not his fault his heart's a child...
A/N:Donghae-centric. Nothing special.I started it off as a drabble but then it kept on growing and I was more then just happy to let it stretch and yawn all it wanted...
plus, modest as I might be, I love this fic.I love the sweetness it holds and I would sooooo have loved to read it had someone else written it, but nobody did and I had to do all the work on my own :( poor me...still,Glad I did it!





My heart's a child.

It swells with pride every time I see my band mates on stage.Performing.It takes pride in watching the crowd go still as Hyukjae takes the stage by storm.Dancing like there's no tomorrow.It makes me feel prouder still when,after taking a full sixty seconds,the crowd erupts into screams,getting over the shock of Hyukjae's perfection, and urging him on, as the very blood in their veins starts pulsing in rhythm to Hyukjae's moves.As their very heartbeats grow in sync to the beat of the song.OUR song,My heart says.And I agree.I nod my head forcefully.Like a child.For my heart's a child.Heechul Hyung pats my head affectionately, but there's also something else in his eyes.I know He thinks I am childish.But that's okay.That's true.Because my heart's a child.And then there's Hyukjae striding towards me.And he doesn't pat my head like I'm a child.Instead he hugs me hard,arms tight around my shoulders.And I know he understands.Hyukjae understands.Because just like me, unlike the others, his heart's a child.
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My heart's a child.


It stares in wonder as the enormous sphere of gold and orange falls into the ground.It stares in wonder as the shadows grow short then longer again and then it whimpers and lets out a small squeal too, when they disappear all together.It stares in wonder as the sky suddenly becomes dark and strange and mysterious.And then when the moon comes out, casting a soft silver glow at every thing.It turns the strangest of streets into friendly neighbourhoods.It stares and wonders when the dazzling little stars, spreading away into endless eternity,start basking everything with starlight.My heart, a child, stares and wonders.
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My heart's a child.

Clouds of despair take hold of it every time Hyukjae falls sick.It contracts a little more forcefully then it normally does.And it remains that way for a very little while longer then it should.It nudges at me constantly to get him water and soup and medicine and stuff.Yet it doesn't allow me to leave his side for a second.It tears me into two beings.It makes everything so much more confusing for me.And the clouds sometimes give way to rain too.It is usually when I see Heechul Hyung getting mad at something Hyukjae has done that it happens.It shivers at the way Heechul Hyung's eyes widen in anger.The way that he throws anything and everything in his hold at the very ground Hyukjae is standing on with force that could seriously hurt Hyukjae if the things hit him.But my heart makes me move just in time and then they never really do hit him.They hit me instead. For I am already there,right in front of Hyukjae, My arms around him,trying to keep him safe.And I don't even feel it when the rock hard things hit me hard.For all I care about at that moment is Hyukjae.Hyukjae in my arms.Hyukjar crying silent tears.And it reminds me.It reminds me of how his hearts a child too.And how scared it must be making him at the moment.And i hold him that much closer.For I understand.
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My heart's a child.

It starts dancing every time a love song comes on TV.It dances like a madman.It dances in swift graceful movements that leave any onlooker breathless.And I know I should take pride in it.I should take pride in the way their eyes linger at my body.Appraising.I should take pride in the way their mouths hang slightly open.In awe.Fascinated.But I don't.I feel like nothing special.Because it isn't me they should be showering with praise. It's my heart.My heart,it makes me dance a little harder,pouring more life into each move, when I see Hyukjae standing by the stage,eyes on me, gaze intense.So my heart dances and it sings along.It looses all sense of time and place.It is a child after all.Is it to blame?
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My heart's a child.

It makes me clap my hands and stamp my feet every time the main lead of a romance movie confesses to the girl of his dreams.Ten other heads in the room turn in my direction at that.They don't understand my zestful outbursts at something out of a movie. They say I am a hopeless romantic.Hyukjae just smiles at my behaviour.He knows I am just a child.So I clap harder, nearly falling out of my seat as I bounce up and down in glee.A soft giggle escapes my lips too, and Hyukjae catches me around my upper arm just in time before I fall completely off.I place a hand over his,and turn around to smile at him.My heart calls thanks.His heart accepts.So without looking at me,eyes fixed on the Television screen,he smiles back.Then I go back to clapping.The others still disapprove.But I don't really care.My heart approves.
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My heart's a child.

It makes me hold my breath,butterflies fluttering around in my stomach,anxiety growing with every second the girl takes to think things through.It makes me hold my breath and clamp my hands together in front of me, impatience growing and slight fear setting in,as the girl takes her time to think,deciding on her words carefully.It makes every minute seem like an hour.It slows time down.My heart's beating becomes unusually loud.Loud enough for me to be able to tell every pulse as I feel blood in my ears.I hold my breath without even realising it, as if my heart believes that any sound I make could affect the girl's decision in some way.But I can't blame my heart for feeling that way.It is a child after all.
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My heart's a child.

It skips a beat when the girl of his dreams leans in towards the main lead,sealing his lips with a kiss.And then it explodes.It rejoices and triumphs.It celebrates.No longer making me hold my breath.It makes me bounce up and down in joy.It allows me to release all the anxiety that had been building up inside of me. It lets me act just a little too crazy.It doesn't nag at me, reminding me of the people that are still around me and what I must be looking like to them.My heart's very forgiving.And it rarely stops me from doing what I want to do.My mind interferes at times but that's very rare too.Like at this moment my mind's telling me to get a grip over my excitement.That it isn't exactly my achievement to be celebrated.But my heart yells at my mind.Telling it to keep it's mouth shut.That it talks too much.And although my mind steps back, I can still hear it's angry murmurs at the back of my mind.A small smile tucks at the corner of my mouth at their childish behaviour.But who am I to call something childish when my own heart's a child.
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My heart's a child.

It gets scared every time Teukie Hyung turns off the lights after tucking me into bed.It makes shivers run down my spine,droplets of sweat breaking out on my forehead.And I remember promising Teukie Hyung that I wont be sacred and would sleep well.Yet I know that I could hardly ever expect to fall asleep with all that crazy shivering and all the fear nibbling at me.I try,though. Because my heart would blame me for being dishonest and breaking my promise.But since it is my heart that's scared in the first place, I'm confused.In that confusion I shut my eyes tight.Telling myself that it will be okay.That it will be morning again,in no time at all,just like always.That soon the sun shall rise up and with the birds chirping all shall soon be bright and sunny.But the contrast makes me all the more scared.So I concentrate on black instead.If I think about nothing but black, I'll soon fall asleep, I tell myself.But soon the black starts giving way to strange, creepy creatures,scary forms and shapes from the movie Heechul Hyung had made me watch,although from two minutes into the movie and onward, all he had done was bury his head into Hankyung Hyung's neck, start haunting me.With a start I sit up, hiccups coming out where sobs should have been,for my heart's scared.Too scared.Without even realising it, I had fallen asleep.And now my heart's beating frantically enough to make me believe it can possibly escape the firm hold of my rib cage.My heart hammers in my chest.And then it begins to calm down, it isn't scared any more as Hyukjae's arms curl around my body, cradling me. My heart says his arms feel like an extension of my own body.New ribs to protect me.His embrace feels like a bubble of warmth, a place where nothing could go wrong.It feels secure.Hyukjae makes my heart feel secure.And it trusts him.It trusts him with every thing because he makes the fear go away.He makes the loneliness go away.So it pushes me to kiss him on the neck and then stay like that as I feel my own wet tears at his neck.Hyukjae just holds me tighter,closer yet.And as he presses his lips to my head, face buried in my hair, my heart smiles.The idiotic child smiles.
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My heart's a child.

It falls more in love every time Hyukjae wipes away my tears and whispers soothing words into my ear, promising things will get better. It falls more in love every time Hyukjae holds me against his chest at night,and I'm not afraid of the dark any more.It falls a little more every time Hyukjae takes my hand in his own,and all the loneliness disappears,leaving behind blissful solitude.It falls deeper in love at the depth in Hyukjae's eyes as they shine, a sheen of moist making them glint, under the street-lamp.It falls a little more in love every morning.Every morning, as Hyukjae and I wait for the sun to rise, my eyes never leave his face.And as the sun comes up it proves that everyone had been mistaken when they said that the sun rises in the East. I had seen it for myself. The sun rises in Hyukjae's eyes. Just like it sets in Hyukjae's eyes. So my heart falls a little more in love.And without realizing it, I bend in to place a chaste kiss on Hyukjae's lips.My heart, it surprises me at times.Just like I know it must confuse Hyukjae at times. But he doesn't really seem to care.Because just when I'm about to straighten up, he leans in for another kiss.My heart nearly dies.

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A/N: I'm luv'n zero gravity on asian fanfics ryt now! it's such a nice henber. i wanna ryt a Henber too.I've got the plot in mind.its gonna be a chaptered.shuld I ryt???
Tags: eunhae, haehyuk, sjfic, super junior
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